I'm 29 years old.
In my short time on Earth, I've lived quite a full life. I've had to face hardships from a young age and continuously jump over hurdles with every passing year. Every time I had a goal or a dream, it seemed like there was always a million obstacles in my way. From tangible obstacles to mental obstacles, I've had to push through adversity time and time again. Now, I find myself face to face with my next challenge; going back to school to eventually get my masters in Psychology.
At 29, I'd like to say that I'm grounded in who I am and what I have to offer the world, but the process of going back to school has brought up an obscene amount of insecurities. First of all, before I do or take anything that has to do with Psychology, I have to upgrade my grade 12 math. I will be in night school from September to December studying and doing everything in my power to make sure I not only pass, but that I pass with a great mark. I didn't take math in grade 12 because I thought it was more important to party and do drugs and kiss boys. I didn't think that I would ever need math because I didn't think I'd ever go to University. I grew up believing I was stupid, that I wouldn't really amount to anything. No one took me seriously- and more importantly, I didn't take me seriously. I could link my low self-worth back to my childhood and talk about how being sexually abused by family members made me believe I was nothing other than a body, but as I got older, I made my own choices of what I was going to do and what I was going to believe about myself. I've gone through terrible things but it has always been in my power how I chose to respond.
Fighting through the belief that I was dumb and ditzy was very real for me as I worked at getting my Personal Training Certificate at Mount Royal University in 2010 (which I also had to upgrade science to get into), but I did it. I managed to graduate with a 3.4 gpa because I fought through the lies about who I was. Even though I achieved my goal, I find myself face to face with those same lies again now.
"You're not smart enough".
"You're not going to pass your math class".
"You'll never amount to anything".
"You're not going to be accepted into the psychology program because your marks aren't good enough".
"You are worthless".
As I face these giants yet again, I have to remind myself that I am not the sum of what people have said about me or the sum of the things I have said about me. I am the sum of what I believe. My future is determined by how I respond when I'm standing face to face with adversity. Thoughts of defeat and low self-worth will always try to take root, but you have a choice what you're going to do with those thoughts. When those thoughts come up, here's your options;
1) You allow them to take root and let them wreak havoc on your brain physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Or
2) You say something different about yourself and change our identity.
We identify with some pretty toxic thoughts and beliefs, don't we? "I'm not______" (you fill in the blank), permeate through every fibre of our being. We believe what others say and what we say about ourselves so strongly that it shapes and moulds every action we take or don't take. If you grew up poor, you might have the belief that you'll never make money. If you grew up with a disability, you may have the belief that you'll never achieve what others can. If you grew up in a small town, you may believe that you'll never go anywhere else or make anything of yourself. You have placed your identity in external things.
We need to change our identity if we want to break through what seem to be insurmountable barriers.
We need to change our story.
Instead of saying "I'm not...", start saying "I'm the kind of person who...".
"I'm the kind of person who doesn't give up when times are hard".
"I'm the kind of person who stays humble".
"I'm the kind of person who people want to be around".
"I'm the kind of person who understands what it takes to be great".
"I'm the kind of person who willingly receives correction and is willing to admit when I'm wrong".
"I'm the kind of person who eats healthy and works out".
"I'm the kind of person who makes it in this life".
If you want to change your life, you have to change your identity first. Who do you say you are? Once you start to change your identity, you have to follow through with your actions. You are accountable to you, no one else. If you say one thing and do another, you will know and it won't make you feel good about yourself. Change what you say and start to speak out what you want your life to look like. Start saying the qualities you want to possess, not the qualities you think you're going to stay stuck with. Our brains are malleable-they are able to change. They change through our thoughts and words, whether for our benefit or to our detriment.
The next time you are face to face with your giant, look it in the eye and say, "I'm the kind of person who won't be defeated". The more we speak the truth about who we really are, not who our ego or other people say we are, the more we will start to believe it and act upon it. Words are so powerful that they can ruin friendships, marriages, self-worth, future success and contentment. What kind of words or phrases are you identifying with right now that are causing you to shrink back or to stay stuck? Change your story by changing your identity.
Our mind has infinite power waiting to be tapped into. In order to utilize that power, we have to uproot the toxic and negative thoughts and words that are actually causing decay inside our brain. I challenge you to start off each morning by saying what kind of person you really are and what you're not going to stand for any longer. Because, that's just the kind of person you really are.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and invest in your well-being. If you'd like to know more about how to keep yourself healthy physically, mentally and spiritually- subscribe to my blog by filling out the form below or heading over to my subscribe page on my website www.jadednutrition.com. Have a great weekend, everyone!
All my love,
LJ